The Mennonites disapprove of dancing and drinking alcohol. Are there other examples you can think of? Do you think this kind of nostalgia - a willingness to appreciate and poke fun at bad memories - is something that's indicative of maturity, of adulthood? Or is it a dodge, a way to avoid facing unpleasant truths?Ĩ. Similarly, she looks back fondly on other experiences that were likely not very pleasant at the time - setting off a yard bomb inside the van she was sleeping in on a camping trip, for one. To what extent is this a memoir about growing up? Rhoda humorously relates her embarrassment at having to eat "shame-based foods" at school as a child - but admits that as an adult, she enjoys them. Does this revelation change your perspective? Can we sympathize with a woman who knowingly entered into a marriage with a bisexual man? Do you think Rhoda's piecemeal revelations mimic the way in which Rhoda comes to terms with the end of her marriage? Why do you think the book is structured this way?ħ.
Rhoda announces early on in the memoir that her husband left her for a man he met on Gay.com however, as the book progresses, she slowly reveals that her marriage had been troubled for some time, and that she knew Nick was bisexual before they were married. Do you think that Rhoda's parents would have opened their home to Nick, if he had wished to become a part of the family? What should loving parents do when their child chooses unwisely?Ħ. Rhoda does not explicitly state that her parents opposed her marriage to an intellectual atheist, but we may infer that with their deeply held religious convictions, they grieved for Rhoda's future. Would you describe this as a functional or a dysfunctional family dynamic? Rhoda and her siblings are very different from one another - do they get along better than you would expect, or not?ĥ. Consider Rhodas family gatherings on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Does the book make any tacit suggestions about what makes a good marriage? Do you know of any marriages that make you say, " want what they have"?Ĥ. Rhoda and Nick remain together fifteen years Mary and Si, more than forty-four years Hannah and Phil, eleven years. Consider the marriages portrayed in this book.
Do you think it would be harder to be left for a man or a woman? Given that Rhoda returns to the lover's gender again and again, what do you think Rhoda would say?ģ. The lover named Bob pops up with an almost incantatory persistence, like a refrain.
What are some of the more notable ways their faith manifests itself? What qualities do they possess that you admire? Were you surprised by anything you learned about the Mennonite community?Ģ.
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